The Health e-Newsletter

Welcome and thanks for being here!  I am Brad Gilbert, Master of Medical Qigong. My wife Lori Gilbert, Licensed Acupuncturist, is the editor and a contributor to our newsletter.  

This month's topic:  Relationships
Are you feeling like you at the edge of a cliff? Are big decisions are coming your way?  February has the early spring-time scent of Valentine's Day in the air, and with it, expectations.  What are yours?

I have noticed a lot of changes going on this month involving relationships. Some old relationships are breaking up. Ones that have been unhealthy for years are now unacceptable to those who are choosing to 'wake up' to this new awareness. New relationships are seeding and blossoming. 

When I had my 'spiritual awakening' a number of years ago I was having very bad relationship situation that I had let continue for way too long. A very spiritual, and close friend of mine prayed for me, in her own way, that I would find my Divine Source (I was an atheist at the time). A few months later I was reading a book I would have never read before, Journeys Out of the Body, by Robert Monroe (You can click on the book title at the bottom of the page, which will take you to the book and my review on amazon.com.)  I continued with reading all kinds of higher awareness books including Carlos Casteneda's books like, The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge; other books like The Celestine Prophecy, by James Redfield, The Game of Life & How to Play It, by Florence Scovel Shinn, Animal - Speaks, by Ted Andrews, and many others. I was getting readings from intuitive people, having Reiki healing sessions, and becoming certified as a Reiki practitioner myself back then. For me, it was the beginning of my exploration of consciousness that brought me out of Ohio, to California, and into Chinese Medicine.

Now, winding our way back to our subject of relationships, have you been honest with yourself about your relationships -- to yourself as well as others? The more honest you can be with yourself the more honest you can be with others. The best way you can learn to be honest with yourself is to get in touch with your feelings. Most people do not like the negative feelings they have stuck inside of them. If you are feeling something other than peace and joy, you usually want to run away, blaming someone else for making you feel that way. It is uncomfortable to feel sadness, worry, anger, and fear. Most of the time we just want to deny their existence, thinking that stuffing the feelings will just make them go away.

When emotions stay inside you for a long time they start to take on a life of there own.  They become out of control, and eventually out of your awareness. So when I talk about getting in touch with your feelings, I mean specifically the ones that are out of control, or out of your awareness.

"So how can I be aware of something I am not aware of?" I hear you cry!  You have to do something different. "If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten," (author unknown.) You have to add some unpredictability to the behavioral tendency of not letting out your feelings. This does not mean you need to confront those who you are bothered by. You just need to get the stuck emotions out of your body. There are many ways to get them out, such as, journaling about them, doing qigong, emotional freedom technique (EFT), finding somewhere safe to scream, and many other ways. Find a modality that works for you and go for it--letting them out in the air so you can breath.  I have found this analogy to be accurate with some who have asthma. Through moving or still meditations you can more easily find the quiet space inside you where the feeling hide.

When you feel like someone is messing up your life, and you start to have a lot of negative feeling towards them remember:

If you are feeling resentful of someone you are in a relationship with, it may be because of the image you have of them in your mind of how you thought they were or how you wanted them to be. You have expectations that are not being met, and when you finally are realizing this, you have an opportunity for change.  Having that image, or your expectations broken may not have anything to do with this person. Your perception of you, them, and the world at large will have changed and you then see things in a new light. Others aren't to blame for your feelings, you alone are responsible for your own feelings.  Others reflect back to you what is already inside you.  You attract the patterns you deny inside you because your true self wants you to heal your wounds that are stuffed inside.  Yes there are some exceptions, but in general, this is true 95% of the time.

When I 'escaped' from a toxic relationship, the big change that occurred was within me. I had to change to see what was really happening first.  This person had been toxic all along, and so many people had told me this for years, but I was finally able to start seeing it for myself after I was willing to do something different when things weren't working. You may be having the same experience yourself.  There is something you can do.

Resentment, anger, and jealousy are stored in the Liver. One simple way to work on balancing these emotions is to do the following meditation: You can sit quietly and imagine, as you exhale, the negative emotions of resentment, anger and jealousy releasing out your Liver organ, which is just behind the lower part of your ribcage on the right side of your body, and inhale the emotions of compassion and kindness. You can imagine these healing words filling this organ. Try this for 5 - 15 minutes and see what happens. Let us know, if you feel so inclined. We would love to here any insights or comments you have.


"When positive or joyous feelings and attitudes pass through each organ and circulate throughout our whole system, our physical and chemical energies are transformed and balanced."

                                                                                 Tarthang Tulku